No One Died but I’m Experiencing Grief?

Grief when no one has died? Yes! Grief is a response that makes its way into our lives following (and even before) many changes, transitions and losses that are not death related. I have listed many types (but definitely not all) of loss below, but what you should know is that grief does not discriminate.

• Loss of marriage

• Loss of safety

• Loss of health

• Loss of relationships

• Loss of your youth

• Loss of job

• Loss of fertility

• Loss of independence

• Loss of a dream

• L

  oss of your home

• Loss of your community

• Loss of financial security

• Loss of faith

• Loss of identity or roles

Grief from a non-death loss can sometimes be referred to as a living loss. Meaning that it is ongoing, the loss may or may not be the result of a certain event and may or may not happen quickly. The response however is often grief. Often the permission to grieve and the acknowledgment from society is limited. Our norms don’t make room for the support and recognition the way they do for death losses.

Rituals and funerals are limited. The tangible elements involved in a death loss are not often present and so it is not acknowledged in the same way.

But for you, maybe what your feeling feels similar to a death loss? If you have experienced a change, loss or transition in your life, perhaps you are experiencing grief. Maybe you’re longing for the way things were before? Finding yourself with a low mood, having sleep disturbances, changes to your appetite, sadness, head aches etc. While everyone is different this could be grief!

So what now? Find support! You may feel even more isolated or alone in these types of experiences of grief. There are not as many calls, casseroles or check in calls when you move, in comparison to when a parent dies. But there still are supports.

Rural Refresh, a grief counselling agency serving Ontario, located in Embro, with an office space in St Marys, specializes in providing support for both death and non-death loss. In my work with clients, through validation and support we initiate ritual where helpful, and build strategies towards a more validated experience with grief.