How to Cope with Caregiving Burnout

"I'm a burnt out caregiver with no other options."

*Big exhale. You aren’t alone. Caregiving is a long-term commitment, and one that most of us don’t sign up for. If you’re an informal caregiver maybe this role has instead landed on your lap. If your feeling burnt out it is important to know it is not a reflection of the love you have for this person or your abilities as a caregiver. In fact, sometimes it is quite the opposite. Maybe you are feeling the need to give this person everything you can (be it resources, time, care etc.) because they mean so much to you (and often we feel most secure with our own abilities, rather than trusting others). Makes sense. And maybe you’re the one that has learned how to do the dressings, communicate clearly, advocate, and knows who to be connected with. That makes sense too. 

Burn out is a state of exhaustion. You’re not shocked to hear that are you? Mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically too, we are worn down by caregiving and all that it encompasses. When we are physically present and when our mind is racing hours into the night too. Brain fog, sleeping troubles, a sense of overwhelm and helplessness, the state of ongoing exhaustion. 

Here are 4 steps to take today towards wellness as a caregiver. 

1. Write down the positives. After visits, or even every phone calls or doctors appointment. Anything from “their weight hasn’t changed” to “I was able to keep my patience while listening to them repeat the question multiple times”. Keep a journal and keep going. 

   
   

2. Visualize your care team. That can mean making a meeting with everyone, making a list of whose involved or keeping business cards and contact information on your fridge. Then keep in mind their skills, we can’t all be good at everything. Note who to ask for what, what times they are available and hold each one accountable to their role. This may require some advocacy!

   
   

3. Who are your supports? I know you read the last one and thought about the person who you’re caring for, but who is caring for you? I am talking about your therapist, your friend who will drop everything and meet for coffee, the caregiver helpline etc. etc. who do you have?

   
   

4. Make a schedule and include things you look forward to. That can mean taking a drive, reading for a half an hour while you have someone to help with personal care, taking off a day to do whatever you want. If it feels like you can’t get away right now focus on little bits of time that you can look forward to. 

   
   

Reach out to supports that are flexible to suitable to your schedule. At Rural Refresh we support caregivers virtually all over Ontario. For some they are booking in for a phone call while their loved one is sleeping. For others it’s a virtual call when they have support from a family member. If you’re local to St. Marys and Embro, Ontario area, a walk and talk might be the best way to have both support and movement. Appointment times vary throughout the day to make it convenient for you.