Finding Comfort in Counselling

There seems to be this perception of what counselling looks like. Thanks to the movies, likely! The client is sitting on a leather couch with their feet up, the counsellor sitting on a tall wingback chair with a clipboard making notes and asking the question, “How do you feel about that?”.

Maybe in some settings this is still the case, but in all the years I have been in practice, and gone to counselling, this has not been my experience. Instead I value the opportunity to have my clients feel comfortable- in their own way! Now, it is important to know that I believe some of the best “work” happens in being challenged and having conversations about things that can sometimes feel uncomfortable. I am talking comfort in the environment though. Feeling like you are in a space that you belong and can open up. Perhaps that’s joining virtually from your home in one of your comfortable chairs, in your cozy clothes, and with a can of pop. For others it might be coming into an office where you can grab a pillow or fidget with an item accessible to you. Knowing there is no judgement in showing up as you are – dry shampoo, comfortable clothes, arriving in the door just on time. You name it! I want it to feel as accessible as possible, which means limited added pressures of being expected to show up a certain way.

I also have clients who enjoy having yoga or movement integrated into sessions. Who prefer to sit on the floor on a mat, or who appreciate movement and breathe work throughout. Some feel most comfortable with talking while walking and benefit from the outdoor movement and bilateral stimulation- of walking side by side and engaging both sides of the brain.

I often find that virtual counselling is a way for clients to feel most comfortable to show up as they are, when they can. No commute or drive time, in their own space, and often appointments that fit into their schedule more easily. I have met clients virtually, who have joined from their car on their lunch breaks, after children or other dependants are in bed, in the morning before going to work, outside on their deck, at their kitchen table etc. I personally love the opportunity to see people in their own space. Clients reach over to grab a photo of the person they are grieving, or show me their new picture they painted, or the flowers that someone brought for them. Connections and sharing that is not always possible at an office. I always appreciate the opportunity to build rapport and laugh, connect over counselling but also just life and pieces of your everyday.

Counselling doesn’t have to feel stuffy and is definitely not mirrored to the movies. Each session should feel unique to you. Find a counsellor who is more

casual or connects in a way that feels meaningful to you. Your working relationship can have a big impact on how you experience and receive support.