There seems to be this perception of what counselling looks like. Thanks to the movies, likely! The client is sitting on a leather couch with their feet up, the counsellor sitting on a tall wingback chair with a clipboard making notes and asking the question, “How do you feel about that?”.

Not much. Truly. I often have clients who say that they were feeling intimidated by the idea of starting therapy, and chose virtual counselling as the best place to start. I agree.

Sitting face to face is not the only way to do therapy. We aren’t created equal and we all bring something different with us, along with a different comfort level. My favorite way to work with clients is often through movement.

One of the biggest questions or concerns I hear as an Ontario counsellor focusing on grieving is, “Is this normal?”. Well, there is no normal, there is no one way, your way will look different than others and thank goodness. We aren’t robots. Our relationships are different, our supports, coping skills and resources, are all different too. 

I am well aware of the stress beyond the seat, the family, kids, people in the barn or in the home holding things together. But here I am talking to you- the farmer. The one in the seat, in the field and in a lot of situations maybe spending your waking hours both in the barn and in the seat. 

Lots of information out there stating that there really is no scientific evidence for blue Monday. But I do feel it, maybe you do? Not necessarily Blue Monday but other days, the lacking sunshine, the dreary afternoons and long season. There can be a heaviness and a lacking of energy and joy that accompanies the winter months. Especially in Canada, in Ontario, there are lots of people that struggle with the season. Here are some ways that you might get through winter,

Okay hear me out, were not mad that our spouses are always working. Perhaps were working off the farm and picking kids up from school, camp, or daycare and just trying to finish out the night with making supper, baths, bed etc. For others we have been in the tractor too, or covering chores, running meals, grabbing parts, and staying home with kids. All jobs that have to be done, but when one spouse is away from the home management or childcare tasks for a majority of the time

Ugh, your appointment time approaches and you’re wondering what you will wear, if you still have enough dry shampoo left in the bottle, and are already censoring the way you’re going to tell the story about your family conflict. But hey, what if you don’t have to?

I know what you’re hoping for. A phrase? A quote? Something that is going to make the grief go away. Hey! As I Grief Counsellor I wish for the same. The reality is there are helpful things you can say and things you might steer away from but nothing is going to land you in a spot of taking the grief away. Don’t let this stop you from supporting a person though, moving forward with grief is tough and knowing others are there for support might ease some of that pain.

Create or attend Rituals: Rituals are an opportunity for those who are grieving to outwardly express grief, alone or with others who are experiencing the same loss. A ritual helps to acknowledge the reality of the death, to express grief and to share an opportunity of remembering the individual who has died. Though in Western society we are often expected to have a funeral shortly after the death, this is only one kind of ritual and many people choose other rituals, shortly a